Jump into the Story (or be pushed)

Today’s quote from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller…(it’s another quote of a quote; ie. Miller is repeating what Robert Miller says about a story and characters in a story)

…humans naturally seek comfort and stability. Without an inciting incident that disrupts their comfort, they won’t enter into a story. They have to get fired from their job or be forced to sign up for a marathon. A ring has to be purchased. A home has to be sold. The character has to jump into the story, into the discomfort and the fear, otherwise the story will never happen.

Along the same lines, earlier in this chapter, Miller tells of a friend who hasn’t seen a movie since Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He says his friend is “too busy living actual stories to watch them on a screen.”

Within the last 10 or so years, I can think of several “inciting incidents” that have disrupted my comfort…

1. I was downsized from a large ad agency in Cleveland in 2001, one month before Sept. 11; and we had recently discovered Anne was pregnant with our second child.
2. I finally forgave a man for molesting me as a child; and a year later confessed to my wife of my addiction to pornography.
3. Just last year, I was again handed a “pink slip”…this time in one of the worst economic situations ever.

In all three instances mentioned here, I would certainly say I was PUSHED, and by no means did I JUMP into the story that was to take place after each. But, at the same time, once I tell you what happened next (and once I realized what was to happen next), it becomes clear that JUMPING probably would have been better. Through these and other circumstances, I have learned (and am still learning) to JUMP more often.

Because of the economic situation of late 2001, after the events of 9-11, I ended up starting my first company (Verve Strategic Advertising Concepts). After a year of 100% self-employment, I merged my company with a design firm called Walking Stick Productions. After a decent two years with Walking Stick, we saw a downturn and my business partner and I decided to split the company up. While this may not seem like the most “inciting” of incidents, it did open my eyes to entrepreneurship and also gave me some time to recognize a dream that the Lord was beginning to lay upon my heart (and life). It was during this time that I began initial concepting of a clean youth entertainment venue in Northeast Ohio. An idea that has been germinating now for almost 7 years, today Lift Up Our Youth, Inc (a nonprofit organization with a goal of creating such a venue) is planning its first concert event for later this year! Who would have thought that 7 years ago an idea and a vision would be forming, and in 2010 an event would take place?

When I was 12 years old, I was molested by a young man in our church. And after nearly 20 years of pain and secrecy, I finally was able to contact this person and offer forgiveness for what he had done to me. And, although that may seem like a big deal, it wasn’t half as important as the need to come clean with my wife regarding what had happened to me since. What was even harder than forgiving that man was admitting to my wife that I had been addicted to pornography since the day she met me. But, what seemed like the worst possible time of my life (our lives), God was able to turn into something positive. A little less than 2 years later, I published Married to Jesus, a book about living out the characteristics of Christ in your marriage. Writing this book was not only a great personal experience, I believe it also helped my marriage. It helped me to think twice about how I treat my wife. So, ultimately, and once again, who would have guessed that a terrible event that took place in 1985 would lead to me authoring a book and becoming a better husband?

And, finally, even though I should have realized by this time that JUMPING is better than being PUSHED, I was still hesitant and scared and whatever. Who knows whether it was for the right reasons or not, but I had been thinking about quitting my job for quite some time – ideally, in hopes of pursuing what I thought was a calling to the youth entertainment venue. But, as I mentioned earlier, I was PUSHED last February when I was “forced into early retirement!” However, contrary to many (if not most) people who have lost their jobs over the last 12-24 months, I JUMPED into not just one, but two or three new business ventures. The first thing I did was partner with former Pro-Bowl Offensive Lineman LeCharles Bentley to start O-LineWorld.com, an online community for offensive linemen. At the same time, I was launching a website development company called JoltCMS that focuses on affordable website content management systems for school districts, municipalities and other organizations. And, most recently, I helped build another new online business – CutOutsideTheLine.com, a website offering online cosmetology continuing education videos. Not only am I having the time of my life, but I believe I’m a better husband (yes, even better than before) and a better father; I’ve also allowed myself to build some strong friendships, which I haven’t really had a chance or desire to do since college.

Again, here I am, almost totally getting the fact that unless I JUMP into the story, into the discomfort and fear, that the story will never happen. It’s possible that none of these great results would have happened without JUMPING (or being PUSHED) into the story. So, now, I want to JUMP more, to not wait around until I’m PUSHED! I’m trying to enjoy things more. I’m trying to stop complaining so much about the weather. Yah, these are little things, but they will continue to build upon each other this year; and hopefully at the end of 2010, I can look back and say “I JUMPED!”